"The Martian" - Too Much Pseudoscience, Not Enough Sci-Fi

**Spoiler alert**

Growing potatoes from human poop is a recurring punchline in this movie. But that's nothing compared to making your own water or being "caught" by a fellow astronaut after hurling yourself into outer space in a windowless craft (thank God for plastic and duct tape). But The Martian specializes in stretching all possibilities and hopes of life on Mars to the farthest reaches of the universe.

Matt Damon plays abandoned botanist/astronaut Mark Watney who is beaned with debris as he and his team are preparing to leave Mars after a joke-filled mission. As his unconscious body hurtles across the Martian landscape, one of the Nasa crew asks, "how long can he survive exposure?" The reply is less than a minute. Having no other choice, the crew boards their ship and leaves their beloved friend behind.

More silly questions that one would expect any astronaut to know and absurd "man on the moon" scenarios follow. A young NASA employee figures out the best way to bring Mark back from Mars all by himself without the help of the highly paid and much more senior and, presumably, more intelligent staff.

Initially there are several "crucifix" references (an obvious dig at the Christian movie lobby) when he realizes the dire state of his predicament but are abandoned shortly thereafter as Mark becomes the master of his own fate, presumably, unless the interpretation was that Jesus was some sort of alien.

Mark immediately becomes antagonistic towards Mars for some reason and becomes determined to thwart the evil planet by becoming an organic eco-farmer. He creates his own self-sustaining life pod with water and detailed calculations about how long his food and heat sources will last.

While his streak of Martian good luck holds out, back on Earth Nasa is deciding what to do. The moment of crisis comes in deciding whether to tell his crew, en route from Mars, that he is still alive. This is where I got stuck. I just didn't feel the urgency or buy in to the need to save this guy or for that matter feel vested in his death or survival. He was just so doggone self sufficient.

Eventually disaster strikes and his homemade farm blows up and he has to start from scratch. P.S. You will literally see Matt Damon shrink from beefy size XXL to an emaciated XXS, though I don't recommend it.

Obviously I've left out quite a few details, but I just didn't feel that this movie about Mars made me feel differently or interested in the red (dead) planet. The movie felt more like Martian propaganda about how much could be done if only the planet could be properly explored, if only the feds would give NASA more money. Okay, wish granted.

Making a space movie without aliens was risky enough and quite foolish. Mark is only in the same kind of danger as he would be in Death Valley or the woods - starvation or exposure. As far as "man against the world" movies, "Castaway" drew me in much deeper to the dark and lonely world of being abandoned on foreign soil. I think I felt more empathy for Optimus Prime than Mark Watney.

So should you see "The Martian?"

If you like a drawn out movie primarily about space and science, Yes. If you want excitement and at least one man-eating alien, No. I saw this movie in 3D, but there really is no reason to do that because there's not enough deep space action to warrant the price mark up.

"The Martian" is a film that wants to sell the excitement of S.T.E.M. and space to the masses but in the end, it was just too spacey for me.