Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Rock of Ages: Film Review

One phrase: Tom Cruise - bare buttocks. That alone makes seeing this movie worthwhile.  I'll expound later.

First of all this movie isn't about anything so don't expect any epiphanies, messages, or that seeing it will spark any useful intellectual conversations. But this movie does ROCK and is an authentic and badly needed showcase for "real" music.

Within 5 minutes I was transported back to the late 80's, "my" era, when I was still an idealistic youth before puberty and taxes ruined my life.  The music is the centerpiece of this musical masterpiece. Journey and Bon Jovi, among other pop/rock favorites, are heavily rotated and makes the music from those days seem even better in the afterglow of today's "manufactured" singers.

The expected story of a naive young country girl with big dreams moving to L.A. is tried and true and unapologetically includes a predictable montage of an expected misunderstanding, breakup, reuniting, and "finding yourself", but the simple sweet story of finding love in the big city still brought tears to my old cynical eyes.  Catherine Zeta-Jones provides a humorous contrast as an unusually embittered mayor's wife determined to bring down Stacee Jaxx and all satanic rock music.

So back to Tom Cruise, who miraculously manages to remake himself once again into a completely believable character as the slightly insane rocker, Stacee Jaxx. His singing is decent and his rock singer inflections are credible, but as I mentioned, if you are interested in getting a very nice view of Cruise's bare vanilla butt-cake, then this is the film for you.

There is music for everyone by the way. Mary J. Blige adds some incredible soul to the rock ballads as does pretty much everyone who opens their mouth including Catherine Zeta-Jones. The Alec Baldwin / Russell Brand side love story was cheesy, overdone, and superfluous, but that is regrettably the lowest point of the film.

This movie is heavy on simul-sex with Tom Cruise getting down and an incredibly suggestive pole dance scene in a strip club and a few other hot moments, but honestly, it's just a movie. So view at your own discretion or just cover your eyes.

Feenin' for some 1980's nostalgia? Then pile in the theater. Sit back, relax, and SING (along).