12 Reasons Why Supergirl’s Costume Will Never Make the Cover of Vogue

Primary colors were officially banned during the 1981 Fashion Week recovery from the 1970’s. Actually that never happened, but the fact that no one (except politicians) ever wears red and blue together (except at Halloween) gives a clue about how designers feel about bold on bold. Red and blue crayons are not even next to each other in the 8 piece box of Crayolas.

I wasn’t expecting Supergirl to get a costume. After all, this is the year 2015, and what the average female heroine wears has been dramatically reimagined and re-styled (i.e. Cinderella, Frozen). Also, it’s a network tv show, not a feature film so the “signature” costume had become irrelevant in my mind.

Original image credit. ScreenRant.com (http://screenrant.com/supergirl-tv-show-suit-images/)

But when Kara suddenly starting modeling a montage of costumes in front of her co-worker, Winn (not a designer or engineer), I was expecting an outfit for the ages, but was disappointed that she only ended up with one that screams, “Meh.” It was just one thread short of starting a trend.

12. It’s not seasonal. Even if red and blue were allowed to be worn together, Supergirl still needs her colors to reflect the seasons. For instance,
Winter = santasuit red and blue/green evergreen,
Spring = poppy and robin’s egg,
Summer = red rose and aqua
Fall= burgundy and navy.

11. It’s overstated. Her costume yells, “SUPERHERO”, instead of “Sophisticated Female Alien from 2,000 Light Years Away”. Our clothes tell a story. Hers should tell who she is and where’s she’s from. Kara comes from a royal family and lives in an incredible loft, so why should her costume reflect Halloween instead of Chelsea?

10. It has a cape. As Edna Mode, the superhero costume designer from the Incredibles quipped, “No capes!” Or at least make it reversible two-toned, a sheer cape, or add a lace overlay for that “invisible” look and for evening heroics.

9. That skirt length. I have a feeling that a man (not from the wardrobe department), couldn’t resist taking that hemline up as far as it could go on pretty Melissa Benoist. But extreme minis are terribly outdated. I would have preferred a romper look to suggest a little fashion modesty.

8. Long sleeves and short skirts don’t work.

7. No jewelry? Every Supergirl needs shiny accessories to complete the look. She doesn’t even own a large face watch.

6. They took away her glasses. Of all the times not to have a pair of stylish frames! I know she has laser vision but her specs are spectacular and add a bit of Warby Parker-esque, smarty-pants polish to her ensemble.

5. Pantyhose! Women stopped wearing hose a while back because they're uncomfortable and kept running whether you paid $0.99 or $19.99. Hose are thin, difficult to get on (and out of when you have to pee). Let’s liberate Supergirl’s legs!

4. Tall boots are well…They’re nice, but an ankle boot enhances the rest of the leg instead of hiding it. The girl is bulletproof so there’s no danger of getting her leg nicked. Pair with footless leggings and she's up, up and away!

3. The neckline. Wow, she wears a round-necked blouse. I didn’t know women still wore those. A more modern neckline teases with the slightest show of clavicle before plunging downward (without risking a wardrobe malfunction).

2. It’s not futuristic enough. A superheroine of the 21st century ought to have clothes that instantly change themselves. Why should she be bound by an immutable fashion law of putting one pants leg on at a time? I think Supergirl’s costume should instantly morph based on her mood like a cuttlefish.

1. Ralph Lauren didn’t design it. Neither did any other major designer. A star like Supergirl would instantly attract the attention of the 5th Avenue fashion houses. She shouldn’t be forced to piece her wardrobe together like Cinderella and those poor-overworked mice.

I don’t expect Supergirl to wear haute couture; I wouldn’t mind, but personally, I’m all about pret-a-porter. If Supergirl had to buy her costume from Zara or H&M, what would she pick?

I realize that the point of her costume is to hide her identity, but the audience was forced to believe that only one blurry image of Supergirl was captured on a crowded plane full of HD smartphones. I think we can suspend reality again. After all, she didn’t need a costume to save the plane so why can’t she switch up her clothes or go sans costume every once in a while?

The rest of Kara’s wardrobe choices are shop-worthy despite the stinging insult of her boss, Cat, about her “cheap pants.” But how could the superficial editor not notice Supergirl’s costume?  It’s difficult to accept that a character who wears designer clothes wouldn’t instantlly notice Supergirl’s threads.

The new Supergirl costume is a definite upgrade but a few changes are still needed.

"The Martian" - Too Much Pseudoscience, Not Enough Sci-Fi

**Spoiler alert**

Growing potatoes from human poop is a recurring punchline in this movie. But that's nothing compared to making your own water or being "caught" by a fellow astronaut after hurling yourself into outer space in a windowless craft (thank God for plastic and duct tape). But The Martian specializes in stretching all possibilities and hopes of life on Mars to the farthest reaches of the universe.

Matt Damon plays abandoned botanist/astronaut Mark Watney who is beaned with debris as he and his team are preparing to leave Mars after a joke-filled mission. As his unconscious body hurtles across the Martian landscape, one of the Nasa crew asks, "how long can he survive exposure?" The reply is less than a minute. Having no other choice, the crew boards their ship and leaves their beloved friend behind.

More silly questions that one would expect any astronaut to know and absurd "man on the moon" scenarios follow. A young NASA employee figures out the best way to bring Mark back from Mars all by himself without the help of the highly paid and much more senior and, presumably, more intelligent staff.

Initially there are several "crucifix" references (an obvious dig at the Christian movie lobby) when he realizes the dire state of his predicament but are abandoned shortly thereafter as Mark becomes the master of his own fate, presumably, unless the interpretation was that Jesus was some sort of alien.

Mark immediately becomes antagonistic towards Mars for some reason and becomes determined to thwart the evil planet by becoming an organic eco-farmer. He creates his own self-sustaining life pod with water and detailed calculations about how long his food and heat sources will last.

While his streak of Martian good luck holds out, back on Earth Nasa is deciding what to do. The moment of crisis comes in deciding whether to tell his crew, en route from Mars, that he is still alive. This is where I got stuck. I just didn't feel the urgency or buy in to the need to save this guy or for that matter feel vested in his death or survival. He was just so doggone self sufficient.

Eventually disaster strikes and his homemade farm blows up and he has to start from scratch. P.S. You will literally see Matt Damon shrink from beefy size XXL to an emaciated XXS, though I don't recommend it.

Obviously I've left out quite a few details, but I just didn't feel that this movie about Mars made me feel differently or interested in the red (dead) planet. The movie felt more like Martian propaganda about how much could be done if only the planet could be properly explored, if only the feds would give NASA more money. Okay, wish granted.

Making a space movie without aliens was risky enough and quite foolish. Mark is only in the same kind of danger as he would be in Death Valley or the woods - starvation or exposure. As far as "man against the world" movies, "Castaway" drew me in much deeper to the dark and lonely world of being abandoned on foreign soil. I think I felt more empathy for Optimus Prime than Mark Watney.

So should you see "The Martian?"

If you like a drawn out movie primarily about space and science, Yes. If you want excitement and at least one man-eating alien, No. I saw this movie in 3D, but there really is no reason to do that because there's not enough deep space action to warrant the price mark up.

"The Martian" is a film that wants to sell the excitement of S.T.E.M. and space to the masses but in the end, it was just too spacey for me.